Saturday, March 5, 2016

You Can't Renovate A House You Don't Own



I have always been very strong, because I always felt I had to. I became resilient at a very early age because of circumstances that were just the story of my life, a life that I work my ass off to own and embrace because, to me, holding fast to perceiving myself as a victim feels like a cage. When I work with people we often begin with having a conversation about this very thing, owning our life. I will often use the analogy of owning your own house to get the point across, telling them, “You can’t renovate a house you don’t own.” I am able to own and embrace my entire life because of my beliefs. If those beliefs did not feel accurate, or if they did not feel empowering, if they did not actually support my ability to own my life and help me find freedom, I might look for beliefs that did. My belief in reincarnation is supported by my experience, through books I’ve read, and through other people’s experiences and it also serves me and my life goals perfectly.


When I began this spiritual path that I am on, I did not have all of the information that I do now. I only knew that in my heart, what was a concept for me at the time, reincarnation ‘felt’ accurate, it felt true. There are many things in my life like this now. The most valuable thing I learned from my, absolutely incredible, spiritual teacher was to trust my own inner knowing above everything. She also taught me how to know the difference between my inner knowing and my desires, but to always trust myself regardless because mistakes are divine, they are the building blocks of actually knowing anything. Trusting the mistakes, trusting the knowing, trusting the heart. Because of my spiritual teacher, I am able to hold onto the belief that everything happens for the best, even when I am feeling, to loosely quote Natalie Imbruglia, “all out of faith, cold and shamed, naked, bound and broken on the floor”. I have spent a decent amount of time feeling what Natalie Imbruglia describes in that song, Torn, ha ha ha. I actually did laugh as I wrote that, that is not sarcasm, I find my own process humorous. I do because I have the ability to be able find the humor in everything, I have had that for most of my life, it is one of the gifts that comes from cultivating detachment which is a key part of a spiritual path. Yep, even when I feel utterly lost, there is a part of me that knows I am feeling all of that for a reason, and I can see the craziness and laugh. So I allow myself to feel all of that, but I am always working to not allow myself to feel I am the victim of it. Blaming my feelings on others is not the road to freedom, obviously, it is a cage. Feeling, accepting and taking ownership of the things we most do not want to feel, is the only way through the labyrinth to freedom. Running from the feelings, blaming them on the situation or others or my childhood is a cage that keeps the pattern on repeat, like the movie Groundhog Day.


When I step back and look at the many bizarre situations that brought my most painful issues up to the surface, it is quite incredible. Throughout my life, I’ve found myself face to face with the same feelings, again and again. As it is with many people I know, I’ve had the issue in my life of feeling unwanted and unworthy, no matter what I did externally, or what anyone else did. After loads of experience with these feelings, and the really crazy situations that trigger them, I know that it is not the people around me causing these feelings and crazy situations, it is me. I know this 100% because I am the only constant. It is not that I have super low self esteem, I assure you I do not. I actually love myself very much, it has been work to get where I am now with that, but I was never someone with terrible self esteem to begin with. It is simply my patterns from the past, for me that could mean childhood or a past life, that keep triggering these old feelings, bringing the situations to a head, like a zit, so that I can pop that fucker. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.) I begin to truly know that change comes from within, when I walk my talk and do the inner work. When I do that, only then do I begin to find relief, sometimes in a shift in the outer reality, but often simply as inner strength that let’s me continue walking through the fire. There are usually periods of awesomeness, and then periods where more old shit works it’s way to the surface. I actively chose a spiritual life, which means I choose that razors edge every day. I choose to challenge my ego on a regular basis and walk through whatever is in front of me, however crazy it might seem or painful it might feel. I try to keep moving forward, going where my heart tells me to, even though I really don’t know where that path is leading me, but trusting anyway. I do this because it is how I was taught to live my life.


Various people have told me, throughout my life, that they perceive me to have everything easy. Because I seem happy quite often, they think my life must be easy. Others have expressed that they think I am in denial. My life is not necessarily easier than anyone else’s, and I am most certainly not in denial. I just try to do my intense emotional work in private, because I have not found it productive to process my shit publicly in the past. I do have close friends who know how to hold a space of compassion around me without adding to my work by immeshing with the feelings and feeling sorry for me. They know that whatever I am going through doesn’t diminish me, but rather it always makes me stronger. They know when to just listen and allow me to talk my way through a thing, or when to call me on my shit. Those are the people that I process with. You all know who you are and you all know how deeply I appreciate our friendships. Thank you again and again.

All of this was inspired from Girish’s post of the following quote:

“The bottom line intention of Trust is this: You must commit to building your trust muscles on a daily basis through spiritual practice. Because trust is an inner process, the development and deepening of trust can happen only within you. That is why a consistent spiritual practice is so critical. It is the means by which you can reach the point within yourself where you know and accept that no matter what happens, you will be okay." ~ Iyanla Vanzant


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

She's Back!

Bhuvaneshwari ~ Mistress of the Cosmos

Do you know that the return of Divine Feminine is actually explained, in many beliefs, including Hinduism? There is a story about her leaving the earth, except for in sacred groves, forests, caves... and that she would come back, and that it's now! It is amazing! I hadn't heard that story until I listened to Shakti Meditations. It's an amazing cd.

About eight months ago, my guides started saying, "She's coming..." And I had no idea what the heck they were talking about! Ha ha ha. I just kept hearing it. And then one day I was walking by a big statue and I felt grabbed. I turned around and it was a huge head... Diana. And I knew right away, I got it... I almost started crying on the spot, ha ha ha. Crazy! There was a Native American ceremony up in Canada to welcome Divine Feminine back and send off Divine Masculine with love... last Fall, I think. And it's so darn palpable! It's incredible!

The following cd is AMAZING! I wish that I could give a copy of it to every single woman on the planet, although I do think there is big value in buying such things for our own work :-)





Monday, May 27, 2013

Take An Appreciation Break :-)



Right now, give yourself a few moments of your time. Take a couple of long slow luxurious breaths. After you have relished that sweet release, ponder and appreciate at least one thing that went right today... and if that feels good, keep going! ♥

I found this image on the Facebook page Sun Gazing.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Let it flow! Let it flow! Let it Flow!


If you want abundance in your life, you must resonate with the vibration of abundance. Abundance is not something we make happen, we don't create and recreate it again and again. Abundance is a flow that we connect to, it's a flow of giving and receiving. It's a beautiful thing, a wonderful dance. If you wish to be connected to this flow, you must feel at ease with both giving and receiving. If you feel that you only appreciate one half of the equation, you will want to cultivate an appreciation for the other.

There are a few things that I do, practices if you will, to help me stay in the flow. When I pay my bills I write "Thank You" on the checks (A nice little tool from Busting Loose from the Money Game). I do it for several reasons. As I said to stay in the flow, but I also find that writing and reading "Thank You!" always feels joyful to me. And I also like to remind myself that the money I am giving is appreciation for something I am receiving and enjoying.

When I find money on the ground I accept that it is a gift. When I am given extra change by accident I give it back, the joy of the exchange and the honoring of abundance is far more valuable to me than a momentary surplus.

I also offer my gratitude for all of the blessings and wonderful things in my life, to The Divine, in a journal. It's not a list of things I am grateful for, it's a conversation. I write things like, "Thank you for my wonderful cuddle bunny, Witty! She gives me so much love and affection! Thank you for my wonderful supportive friends and family, I love them so much! Thank you for my beautiful home and my wonderful town!". Ha ha ha, I actually write all of that, ha ha ha. I've found, for myself and for my clients, that a conversation tends to be much more invigorating and heart opening than a list. That being said, the joyful emotion of gratitude is really the point. So play around with it and see what works for you. Figure out how to get yourself jazzed about the things that are bringing you ease and joy in your life. And if you're feeling a bit down and funky, open that journal up and read a few pages!


Another key element to abundance flow is feeling joy for the abundance in other people's lives. Not just our friends and loved ones, but all beings everywhere. I have absolutely no issue with advertising for this reason. When I hear people kvetching about the ads, particularly on Facebook, it really surprises me. I am so grateful for Facebook and Youtube! I have connected with many friends through Facebook, people that I never thought I would see again. I have found a lot of love and seen amazing wonderful things on both Facebook and Youtube that I never would have seen without those sites. We have access to such incredible beauty and wisdom... and it does not cost us a single cent, unless we choose to click on an ad and buy something that we would like to have. All we have to do in return for this amazing gift is... well really nothing. We don't even have to look at the ads if we don't want to. When you see others thriving and you rejoice in their abundance, you are well on your way, ha ha ha. I love to see everyone thriving so beautifully! I absolutely wish for everyone in the entire world to live and play and laugh in ever flowing joyful abundance. And I do mean everyone. Love! Love! Love!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

When I Become A Superhero...


When I become a superhero one of my powers will be to open people to their own hearts. I'll have several cool ways to do it including a love bomb ;-) I promise you, the only thing that will ever bring real change to any situation, internal or external, is love. Since I am not a superhero, yet, I am beginning by working on opening my own heart and offering love to everyone and everything in all of existence. Love is the way, I know it with every fiber of my being.


And while we're on the topic of superheroes... my favorite superheroes are the Green Lanterns. The beautiful artwork at the top of this post is Gloria Gypsy's interpretation of Anahata, the heart chakra. (Click on the image to go to her shop.) The beautiful artwork just above this paragraph is the Green Lanterns' symbol. Oddly similar, no? Ha ha ha! Green Lanterns receive a special ring and a lantern that allows them to channel a magical green energy. The story says that they need sufficient will power to wield the power. They wear the symbol on their heart chakras, and the green energy is the opposite of fear. When they channel it they can create anything, literally anything, that they are able to imagine. Their ability to not be controlled by fear, their will power, and their imaginations are truly what the beings bring to the table and the green energy does everything else. As far as I know the only thing that controls our fears is trust, either in ourselves or in a higher power... and that, my friends, is why I love Green Lanterns! I even have a tattoo of the symbol. Love and joy from me to all of you!

The Most Sacred Place of All...

I've been in a cocoon for awhile, but I feel my wings sprouting again... so let's play!


Would you like to 'hear the music' Nietzche was referring to? If you play around with the following meditation every day, eventually you will hear the music, and much more. If you are already hearing it, then it will just get clearer and more defined.

Close your eyes and take three long slow breaths as you bring your awareness to your internal workings. Imagine the breath flowing all the way to your fingers and toes. After the third breath, bring your awareness to your heart chakra, in the center of your chest. Imagine a beautiful, warm, cozy cave inside the center of your own chest. Take a moment to feel the boundaries of the cave and then imagine you are there, sitting on the floor in the center of your beautiful heart cave. Feel the soft carpet, what color is it? Mine is lavender! Breathe swirling gold and white light into that space, illuminating the walls... as you release your breath feel the sensation of being in that space deepen. Play with this, look around with your mind's eye and see what shows up. Check in and see if you notice that things feel different to you when your awareness is focused in your heart. If you begin to feel a physical sensation in your chest, like a gentle pressure or slight cramping feeling, give yourself a pat on the back! That means you are doing a great job! Enjoy!

Love, love, love to all y'all! ;-) ♥

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Lavender Shortbread is Divine!





The culinary lavender I got online @ BulkFoods.com :-)

Lavender Shortbread

Preheat oven to 325

3/4 Cup Butter
1/2 Cup Confectioner's Sugar
1/2 Teaspoon Vanilla
1 1/2 Cup Flour
1/4 Teaspoon Salt
2 1/2 Teaspoon Culinary Lavender (It must be finely ground. I use a, well cleaned, coffee grinder.)

Cream butter and confectioners sugar until light. Add vanilla and
cream some more. Mix flour, salt and lavender in a separate bowl and
then mix flour mixture into butter mixture.

Pat dough into a well greased 8" pan or pat into a square
and cut before baking. Bake until shortbread is just
barely starting to brown, about twenty minutes.

Lavender Icing (enough for two batches of shortbread so I half it)

1/3 cup whole milk
1/2 teaspoon dried lavender
3 cups confectioners' sugar

Bring milk and lavender just to a boil in a small saucepan. Remove from heat, and let steep 10 minutes. Strain, and discard lavender. Whisk in sugar until smooth.(I actually add sugar slowly until I get the consistency that is somewhat liquidy enough to spread and set overnight...) You will have to use all of the icing immediately. I personally think the shortbread is better the second day. Enjoy!